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Introduction

My younger brother and I used to play a game in the summertime called “Slimy Underhooks.” It went like this: First, we’d drag the sprinkler out into the lawn and take off our shirts. Someone would crawl behind the bush under the kitchen window to turn the hose on. Then, we’d proceed to ensure that our upper bodies got completely wet. This completed the setup.

Each round began with a ceremonial dance: we’d each flap our arms like chickens, slapping our inner arms against our wet bony sides, making as much noise as possible. It made a sickly, wet slapping sound. We’d do this and stomp side to side, taking deep knee bends. Like boxers bumping gloves before a match, after about 15-30 seconds of this slapping, the game could begin.

The rules of the game were simple: whoever could hug their arms around the other person’s torso won, and the round was over. The technique was to tightly clench your arms to your sides, and point your hands forward, fingers flattened, like little spatulas. On defense, you’d swat away a lunging wet hand. On offense, you’d try to shoot your hands in between your opponent’s slimy torso and arm. The key to avoiding injury was to make sure both players were both sweaty and wet. It was a cross between boxing and wrestling, each competitors slimily circling and jabbing, waiting for just the right moment to strike.

Ingredients

For this refreshing, summertime spinach salad, you’ll need:

• Spinach
• Blueberries and/or blackberries and/or raspberries and/or strawberries
• Walnuts
• Olive oil
• Balsamic vinegar

Instructions

1. Put all the ingredients in a bowl.